Apple Pies and Such

I can't stay up late enough to watch Jon Stewart, but here are two funny clips. Not that they should be funny. I've also included an Op-Ed from Time, for those of you who don't have an MBA from Harvard. http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1845209,00.html?cnn=yes

Clusterf#@k to the Poorhouse:


That joke (W) isn't funny anymore?

Everyone's Favorite Anti-Hero

I watched this movie so much as a youngster that I think it kind of warped my expectations. No man will ever be this cool.

Perspective

I haven't been surfing very well lately. This video ended my pity party.

http://www.vimeo.com/1804186

I hate Henry Rollins

Not because he singlehandedly brought about the demise of Black Flag (he didn't, check out the fantastic Our Band Could Be Your Life for the full scoop), or that he turned into a huge meathead who only wears tight black t-shirts, or that he tries to get his point across by shouting. I think it's because he agreed to host MTV Sports back in the early 90s. I won't even get into his literary pursuits.

Anyway, he looks hot when he's dressed as a cop, so there's that. And then there's this little McCain gem:

Coughlin's law: never show surprise, never lose your cool.

The best part comes at 2:37. This guy is a superstar.


Zombie Cocktail Drink Recipe - For more of the funniest videos, click here

Vintage Hot Water Music

Saw this on youtube and had to put it up. Wow.

I Knew to Lie

I remember my first pair of hot shoes. When I was 8, I bought a pair of 3-inch heels from a garage sale for $2. They were strappy black and gold stiletto sandals. My mom saw them, freaked, pictured my future life of prostitution, and asked me how much they were. Instinctively I knew to lie and say that they only cost $0.50. She warned that I would break my leg. (Totally unfounded!) I did cartwheels in them to spite her. And I was fine.

What the F*@k, Chuck?

(photo from darkbluedarkblue's flickr)

Remember your first pair of Chucks? It was so hard NOT to doodle on the white toes, they were such a perfect canvas to help pass the time while your 4th grade teacher explained photosynthesis. I noticed today that Chucks were still en vogue with my high schoolers, and the doodle compulsion is reassuringly alive and well.

Looking at all of the shoes made me fondly remember my pink Chuck Taylors that I got for my tenth birthday. They were hot shoes, even if my feet were bigger than all of the boys' feet. And the teacher's. But then I shuddered as I realized that those were not, in fact, my first pair of Chucks. Oh no. I had my first pair when I was six. What? Really? I must have been punk as f*@k from an early age, right? Or maybe my parents were just really cool? Cheap is more like it. And heartless.

You see, I was in the ER every weekend as a youngster. I fell down a lot and broke a couple bones, had a few lacerations, got some stitches every now and then. I was on a first-name basis with the triage nurse. Anyway, when I was six I'd spent all winter in a full-leg cast after I broke my leg while sledding. After I got that cast removed I broke it again in a freak rollerskating accident. So I spent most of the summer in another full-leg cast.

One day I went to the doctor and he fit me with a waterproof brace that made it look like I had a prosthetic leg, so that I could go in the ocean that summer. I loved looking like I had a fake leg for some reason. Then my mom decided that I couldn't walk around with a lone bare foot, so off to Payless we went. And I believe that's when the seeds of a shoe fetish were planted.

At Payless the only shoes that fit over my brace were the black lowcut Chucks.
SIZE 12E MENS. And I was six. And female. I sobbed as the clerk went to put them in a plastic bag. "Oh no, we'll wear one of those out of the store," my mom said. The clerk looked around for Wilt Chamberlain to pop out, and shrugged as she handed one of the monstrosities over. I cried for days, pissed at the world because my lavendar unicorn skirt did not go with my ugly black MEN'S sneaker.

Yaaaay! Waves!

From one of my most favoritest spots. I used to be able to surf that spot with just a few friends. Oh well, let's hope there are some new sandbars for the winter!

More Cheddar

I absolutely love this photo. I think it's from 4 or 5 years ago, when we were on our way to Ladies' Night, and Kris was ticked because we made him wear formal attire. He kept complaining all night about how uncomfortable he was in his "monkey suit." After hitting the bars we all decided to go nightsurfing. This comedy of errors was captured on Kris's polaroid camera, and I don't know where those pictures went, but I do know that our inebriated state caused us to lose either the camera, the pictures, or both, on the beach that night.

What's even funnier is that picture is still hanging on my wall (please people, I got over my crush on him eons ago), as it was one of the few pics that fit in this frame. I am sure that Kris was a little bugged out when he came to visit this winter, and he and all of his friends saw a framed picture of him up on my wall.

The boy in the peach T&C tank top...

Is just one of the ways I'll always picture Kristopher Cheddar-Zeus-James Zuccato. I met Kris when I was 11 at a teen dance. The fact that he was both an older man (13) and didn't seem to have a curfew made him devastatingly cool in my book. His friend Shaun had told him that a girl liked him, so I'm guessing that when he saw my thick glasses, bad perm, and flat chest he was less than enthused. But, because Kris was the nicest guy in the world, he danced with me to Milli Vanilli's "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You," and it made my summer. Probably my adolescence.

My crush on Kris necessitated a code name, and his code name became "Cheddar" thanks to some heinous Eagle brand snack mix consumed during a discussion about how all of my friends had seen my neighbor's unit. (They were sketching it out on a legal pad since I'd somehow not managed to look up his boardshorts that day.) Kris also had the more illustrious nickname of "Zeus" explanation here, but as cool as that nickname is, I love thinking of the giggles that went into making Cheddar.

Kris had great taste in music, and if he'd never introduced me to Minor Threat, I don't know how I would have ended up. I've been listening to a lot of old Hot Water Music songs, because they're another band that helped me to make sense of life's, well, shittiness. One song in particular that has really helped me is "Manual." Google led me to a page that states:

"Manual" is a farewell song for our brother and great inspiration, David Williamson, who is known to split at any given time, on foot or otherwise, in search for a better way. His integrity and true free spirit helps show us what is living is all about. His generosity and benevolence radiates the fact that there is more to this world than greed and hostility. Just as his companionship and loyalty remind us of our family outside of blood. We still bid him farewell. As we patiently await his returns.

-from "Live at the Hardback"

I don't know David, but Hot Water Music see their friend in a way that everyone saw Kris, and their tribute says things that I'm not able to. I thought that today would be a good day to write this, since I made it through the whole day without crying. But now I'm a little sad so I'm going to end this post and put up some pictures.

Republican Hypocrisy

Courtesy of Jon Stewart.

Pretty Pictures

For those of you who need a pick-me-up, this site might make you feel a little better. It's a friend of a friend who just started taking pictures, and I think a lot of them are muy bueno.