Gag me

Look like a huge tool for only $150!!!

I don't know how to write anymore

So it's Saturday night and I am at home blogging. Awesome. Actually, I went out last night and decided that I can't really go out 2 nights in a row. So I'm not a loser. I swear.

I guess I started this blog because I feel like I've spent so much time writing academic papers that I lost my voice. Now that I've finished my thesis, I want to go back to writing interesting stuff. Initially, I started my thesis with the notion that it would be an academic paper written in an unpretentious, fun-to-read (relatively speaking), op-ed style. I worked on varied sentence length. I used lots of fragments for effect. Got a little carried away with semi colons. I understood that a thesis was supposed to show a mastery of an area and should be presented in a manner that showcases scholarly authority, but I thought I could do it in a different way.

My committee was not impressed. Several thousand rewrites later, I surrendered my creative vision and caved to their demands for a more scholarly tone. They were right, of course, but I'm still pissed. Academics need to make up their own esoteric jargon just so they can feel important when no one else knows what the hell they're talking about. I don't like using language in a way that alienates my audience. For this reason, I deliberately avoided using words like "hegemony", "underpinnings", and fucking "paradigm." Eventually, I had to use them b/c my conscious avoidance of those terms made me look like I was stupid and had a bad vocabulary. And the worst thing is that now I'm having a hard time shifting back to how I wrote before I wrote my thesis.

So I am here. A recovering pseudo-intellectual.

Check out this Dinosaur Jr. video that I never knew existed.


(Related to other posts b/c J. Mascis looks kind of Amish with a hat on.)

In case you don't want to scroll through the comments, here is a good one:

just noticed that the dude with the black hair in the house is the guy in 'Superbad' who starts the fight at the party! he has the GF with the period blood stain. -toecutterr6

My favorite:

J. smiles at 1:57 -flamethrower211

Death Cab for Cutie "Cath" video

Death Cab's new album is excellent. Everyone should get it.

I saw this video today and noticed that they essentially remade Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together" video, but it's the artsy indie version. (Don't knock that Mariah song. It's one of the best torch songs ever written and I am embarrassed to say that it is always on my Ipod top-played list. There just aren't anymore torch songs being written these days. Sad. Props for namechecking Bobby Womack, Mariah! And don't forget that this video singlehandedly relaunched Eric Roberts' 'career.')

As you can see, many parallels can be drawn to the Mariah video:

First off, we have the dashing suitor crashing the wedding. For obvious reasons, the doe-eyed boy from that Amish (no I'm not obsessed) movie Witness was cast as the indie Wentworth Miller.

Instead of rolling around diva-style on a bed or in the shower, DCFC sing the song while sitting on astroturf. Gibbard earns bonus points for his greasy hair and ironic pedophile glasses.

The priest in the Mariah video is better b/c it's the speedo-wearing football player from Blue Crush.

Anyway, same story lines. Ex-lover watches while his dream girl is saying her vows, she sees him and wonders if she's doing the right thing. Except that in the DCFC version, time stops (I was waiting for Zach Morris to pop out and start talking to me) and Cath makes out with the Amish boy, but then because shoegazers don't like happy endings, she rejects her angsty ex-flame, restarts time, and finishes her wedding.

And just because, here is a live version of the best song ever written about hickeys:

Things I love about summer

Houses on stilts.

Smell of the marsh at low tide.

The china cat that's been on this roof for as long as I can remember. Why?

Functional Kitsch

Chomsky on McSame

I wasn't sure about posting something political, but the I realized that I can do what I want! : )

NC: McCain is another example of very effective propaganda-creation imagery. I mean, suppose there was a Russian pilot who was bombing civilian targets in Afghanistan and was shot down and tortured by the American-run Islamic fanatic terrorists there. Would we say he's a war hero? Would we say he's an expert in strategic and security issues, because he was a bomber of civilian targets? We wouldn't. But this is the image that's been created of McCain. His heroism and his expertise and strategy are based on the fact that he was bombing people from 30,000 feet and he was shot down. It's not nice that he was tortured, it shouldn't have happened, it was a crime, and so on. But that doesn't make him a war hero or a specialist in foreign policy. That's all a public relations creation. The public relations industry is a huge industry, very sophisticated. Probably something like a sixth of the gross domestic product goes into marketing, advertising, and so on, and that's a core element of society. It's the way you keep people separated from one another, subdued, and focused on something else. And this is explicit and, as I say, it's all discussed in public relations propaganda.

http://www.zcommunications.org/znet/viewArticle/18257

Granted, Obama has p.r. people in his corner, but their manifestations are way cooler. Typical Chomsky, you know he knows the exact statistical beakdown of our GDP. He's so darn cute.

I heart sea oats and tiny houses

Jedediah Don't Surf

The Amish were at the end of my street. They vacation here (NJ) every year. I had to act like I was taking pictures of the waves, and there was a van with a driver just sitting there idling the whole time, and I think it was their ride! I wanted to call the no-idle police, but then I thought about the person who was stuck inside a van all day waiting to drive a bunch of Amish people back to Lancaster, and I let it go.

Zippers are forbidden but swim noodles are not?

Coffee Book Ideas

I thought of one yesterday: A book full of profiles of guys who've been dumped by their girlfriends, who then read The Secret and update their Myspace profile accordingly. It's quite a phenomenon and it's hilarious when you come across the online carnage. I would post some of my favorites, but it's just too pathetic.

Another book idea I had occurred after a hurricane (I lost track of the names a long time ago) while I was looking at some of the damage. Feeling rather cranky after going weeks without A/C during a heat wave, I noticed that a steeple had broken off and was stabbing the roof of a church. I thought about all of the Time magazine photo of the year entries that always show some poor rural town completely decimated save (I have a problem with puns) its one church which stands unscathed. (Never mind that money spent building a structually sound church may have been better used to safeguard the congregation's homes.)

Anyway, I thought, why not make a coffee table dedicated to lampooning those types of images? The church crushed by its own steeple would have made a great cover. I'm not sure who would fund this type of book, who would buy it other than Marilyn Manson, or who would even agree to sell it. But I still think it's a great idea. I would title it Salvation My Ass.

New Bikini (That Only Steve-O Could Love)

I have lots of bikinis, but it's justifiable because I'm lucky enough to wear them almost every day. Here are my newest bottoms. That's the back of the suit (obviously they were bought online w/o being tried on). I don't think I'll be surfing in them.

If anyone wants to find the best surfing bikinis, I would suggest Brazilian designer Luli Fama--the suits are pricey but last forever. If you get the full coverage bottoms of any suit, they only fill up with water and you look like you shat yourself. So, the skimpier (viva Brazil, or however you say "viva" in Portugese) the better. I like Fama's 'kinis because they aren't skimpy in the front, so you don't have to sorry about flashing anyone while you're sitting on your board. I would also suggest getting ones that tie on the side so that you can cinch those babies until your circulation is cut off. Nothing is more annoying than wasting a good wave b/c your suit is creeping down your dupa.