Happy VD.

So I thought I would take this time, as I'm sipping my cocktail and steeling myself for a night out that will be fun without any underlying sense of desperation, to reflect on my VD experiences. I decided that I'd give my readers a little Valentine's day humor to help them through this wonderful holiday.

The reason why I have bad VD karma:

I had a boy in 9th grade decide to bring a dozen longstems to school on VD to give me after we had been going out for 2 weeks. He used "love" on the card. I dumped him the next day and he started crying infront of everyone in the cafeteria. I cannot wait until he finds me on facebook.

The most pathetic VD I had was when I worked at this restaurant. I was bartending and for some reason a lot of men decided that a boat/sports-themed restaurant would be a great place for a romantic couple's dinner. I got out at 2 a.m. and promptly headed for Fourth Meal. When I got up to the window, the drive thru lady said that my double decker supreme had been paid for by the man in the car infront of me. He had pulled slightly ahead and was I guess waiting to meet the Taco Bell customer of his dreams. I waved in his car's general direction and sped the f#*k off.

But the absolute WORST VD was when my boyfriend showed up two hours late, drunk and/or stoned, took me to a restaurant, and when the check came told me that he only had $20 and that I'd have to pick up the rest. And I kept dating him!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, as you can see, my hopes for tonight are decidedly low.