A Little Game I Like to Play

It's called "This is Why I'm Single."  It began with my friend joking about how she had a guy over to her condo and gave him a tour.  When she got to the spare bedroom she said, "This is the nursery. Let me know if you think we should change the paint color."  I'm somewhat sure she was only joking.

So I'm shopping today and I am in Victoria's Secret.  I always feel a little uncomfortable in this store, b/c what if a student sees me buying slutty things?  Or a sensible bra?  Gross!  Glancing around furtively, I notice some sale undies.  They were white with "Bride" in blue letters on the butt.  And I wanted to buy them b/c I thought it'd be so funny to be hooking up with a guy for the first time and have him see that you're wearing those.

(These weren't the ones I was looking at!) Who the eff wears granny panties on their wedding night? (Susan.) That would be kinda funny, too...

Another thing that makes me uncomfortable are the minivans with the little stick figures stickers of their family and pets.  So weird.  Why would you want some pedophile to know how many kids you have?  And some people even put their names on their rear windows.  Didn't these parents grow up in the 80s when that kid was abducted from a mall in broad daylight?

*Slight divergence: This brings me back to when I was four and some HBO movie about an ice cream man abducting children came out.  Well, the ice cream man rolled past our house and I was too shy to tell him to wait while I went to raid my Klondike fund.  By the time I found two quarters, bitch was already four streets away.  Well, I obviously took off running after him.  Finally caught up with him and he was all, "Duh, why didn't you tell me to wait by your house?"  So I get my ice cream and I turn around and my parents are sitting there in the car, fuming.  You'd think their relief about my safety would keep them from yelling.  You'd be wrong.

Back to the stick figure decals.  I think it'd be funny to put one woman sticker and like 80 cat stickers all over my back window.