Going Ounce: Patrón of the Arts

I guess the big news for my readers is that I have agreed to take part in something that will surely turn out to be an entertaining story.  I have agreed to be auctioned off at a charity event.  There is no way that this will not be hilarious.  I am hoping I'm not going to be sitting under a huge banner at the auction that says "Just Because She's Going to Die Alone Doesn't Mean That [People with Affliction] Have To." 

Aside from trying to get people to pay money to hang out with me, I will also be partaking in a photo shoot in a couple of weeks.  I googled the photog and his page comes up with lingerie models on it.  Awesome.  Then I realize it's a guy that my friend used to have a huge crush on.  I'm hoping there's alcohol served before we have our pictures taken.  I think I'm going to show up in my underwear.

And keeping with the alcohol theme, I'm reallllly going to have to do some tequila shots or something before I am sold to the only bidder.  (My friend who has agreed to bid on me so I don't look like a loser.)  And this is where it gets scary:  we have to yuk it up onstage for 3-5 minutes while the emcee talks about us.  I am not much of a yukker upper.  Scariness.  Patrón.  This is not a silent auction?!

So, be aware that I will be asking some of you for help with outfit choices and witty things to include in my bio.