Lame Update Because I'm Sick

That title should really hook you!  Anyway, I'm pretty worn out today, so don't expect much.  I think the time zone change / sinus infection combo, along with the fact that my Florida life is so uneventful is taking its toll.

Photo shoot kind of belongs in the fail category.  Apparently there was a mix-up and I was the only person there getting my pic taken when everyone else is going next week.  They thought I couldn't make it next week for some reason.  So the four organizers also came to get their pics taken.  And they are all super nice, successful and well-coiffed.  I mean one girl had perfect hair, makeup, body, etc., making me feel like Sir Frumpalot.  I kept looking around for a mirror, but didn't see one.  And then I didn't want to seem vain (you know, because I get my picture taken all the time and I am naturally beautiful and am not worried about the fact that I haven't had my hurr did in two months and I am incredibly clammy and sound very nasal thanks to my sinus issues, not to mention the Sudafed made my mouth really dry, so I was also trying to clutch my water bottle to play it off like it was condensation and not warm sick sweat covering my hand), so I just walked right up and started smiling my lipless smile for the photog.  Apparently all of those hangovers spent watching America's Next Top Model marathons did nothing, and I tried in vain to smile with my eyes.  Which made my nose run.  And I knew I would have to keep shaking strangers' hands, and who wants to grab a clammy snot hand?  In the back of my mind I could hear Tyra screaming, "I was rooting for you!  We were all rooting for you!!!"

Of course I want to see the pics, but again, it's for charity, so I didn't think it would be appropriate to ask.  Good thing they did because the photographer (loved him!) pointed out how shiny my forehead was.  He said I could take more pics after I applied some powder.  Of course I don't own any powder.  Naturally beautiful people (who are really just lazy but try to play it off as being unsuperficial -not a word?-) don't own compacts.  Luckily the perfect woman let me borrow hers.  I hope that didn't gross her out.  I mean, it's not like borrowing someone's lip gloss and giving them herpes, right?  Or a cold.  Then the photog was all, "Uhm, maybe you can go fix your hair (!!!) and we'll take some more pics."  He pointed to the bathroom which was hidden behind a bunch of pictures of naked women, which I was trying not to stare at in case these people suspect I'm a lesbian because I don't have a compact.  My hair (went with waves) was looking pretty drab and my black shirt really brought out my roots.

More pictures.  He keeps telling me to put my chin down and I keep trying to fake putting my chin down because it gave me a double chin and chub cheeks in the other pics.  He has to get a crate to stand on because I'm so tall.  Duh, I wore heels.  But they were only headshots so all of the outfit agony was for naught!  Sorry guys!!  Anyway, these pics had less shine and chin fat. 

Now the fun stuff:  I decided that since everyone is going next week, and it's going to be catered and have alcohol, I will also attend.  You know, just to get to know my fellow philanthropists.  And I am going to practice my poses and watch Tyra clips on youtube all weekend.  I already bought a compact on the way home from work today!  I was thinking I should maybe buy one for the perfect woman, but hers probably cost $200.  She gave me the lowdown on the auction, since she did it last year.  She seemed to understand my pressing need to determine whether or not there would be alcohol on hand (plenty) before we have to go onstage infront of hundreds of strangers and get people to pay for the privilege of paying for us to go to dinner during The Great Recession.  She seemed concerned (and rightfully so, I might add) that there were no tall bachelors for me to partner with.  So now I have to strategize with this new info in mind.  I'm thinking I should go with the shortest guy and let that be our schtick.  Except short strangers trying to get dates may not appreciate this.  But you never know.  Perfect Woman also gave me a questionnaire to fill out.  This is where shit got real. 

I have to pick out a song to walk out to!  This is the closest I will ever get to picking my very own first dance song, since let's face it, I'm not hearing wedding bells anytime in the near future.  (I feel very honored to have been consulted by some very close friends regarding their song choices for their first dance at their weddings.  I mean, maybe they may not have listened to me, but at least they asked.  I think The Cure are pretty festive, no?)  Alright, back to the task at foot:  What song??  "Hot for Teacher" is the obvious choice that will probably get me fired and/or on the local news.  I think "No Scrubs" would be funny.  Or "Closer to Free" by the Indigo Girls.  "Welcome to the Jungle"?  I wish I were a cop so it could be "Mrs. Officer."  Anyway, before I bother you about what I should wear that night, I thought I'd bother you for amazing song choices and witty things to write on my questionnaire.

This would be a great song choice, and I swear I would totally fall in love with the first guy who recognized the song.  Which would be no one in South Florida.  Aiiight, I'm going to go hit the Nyquil and have some stress dreams about a teeny black and white photo going into a program that no one will look at.  Kisses.