I do not like it THAT rough!

Took today off and had an MRI done on my neck.  It was sucky for many reasons.  It's like lying in a coffin, and even if you don't get claustrophobic, you can't help yourself when your neck is strapped into this giant donut from hell machine.  You cannot move, and this leads to your face itching like crazy.  And the best part is when you only have five minutes left, and they tell you that under no circumstance are you to swallow for the next five minutes.  Which makes your mouth instantly fill up with saliva. 

Also had a massage today with the Russian.  I think she chokes me on purpose.  I'm serious.  And she kneads my shoulder blades so hard that the entire massage table rocks to and fro and I get a little seasick.  But I am addicted to her massages--they're the best.  They are worth the thumb print bruises on my neck that look like hickeys.  And I love how every other massage therapist plays Enya and she plays really bad Soviet rock.  And when she likes the song she turns it way up and then the pain really begins in earnest. 

Work has been really bad this week.  The kids are being ridiculous.  I hardly ever write referrals and I wrote two yesterday.  So I figured a spicy tuna roll and a Chimay for Happy Hour were necessary after work yesterday.  But I'm not really comfortable going to bars alone.  At four o'clock in the afternoon.  But there were a buttload of people there.  Watched some Olympic hockey and texted so as to not look/feel like a loser.  Some guys were sitting next to me but weren't flirting with me.  I read the paper.  Texted my super outgoing BFF for moral support.  Then a tall hot guy sat down with the guys next to me!  Ordered another beer.   Cursed my shyness.   Reminded myself that my fun friend and I singlehandedly were responsible for almost getting a large portion of the Philadelphia Flyers organization thrown in the clink. 

And then curling came on.  This sport is so odd, so mesmerizing, that I think everyone in the bar started talking to the stranger next to them as soon as they recovered from the shock that this is an Olympic sport.  This guy is an Olympic athlete.  And he may want to get that thing on his mouth checked.

Source: Getty Images

So I am talking to the obnoxious friend who is super hilar.  He's from Boston so we spend 20 minutes cutting each other down. He is trying really hard, until I get up to run to the restroom and he notices I'm a good 8" taller than he is.  He loses interest.  Tall cute guy is wearing a tie.  I don't usually go for guys in ties, but maybe that is why I end up with bums?  "Ties in 2010" is this year's motto.  Maybe.  Neither guy can figure out why I'm smart and still a teacher.  I do not have an answer for this.  I decide I should leave.  They convince me to stay.  I say I have to go for an MRI in the morning and they want to hear about my accident.  Just so happens that their friends that show up ten minutes later are both attorneys.  So now I have a lawyer.  Who says that drinking alone at a bar in the daytime is unproductive?