This Can't End Well...

I was just ensconced in my recliner (score from my parents' divorce), grading papers, and I see my neighbor saunter up to the front door.  First he shouts my name and then knocks.  I figure he wants to talk to me about my other neighbor's ridiculous new Jeep.  (I swear its tires are as large as my car and I will take pics soon to prove it.)  He wants my number.  I lived next to him for five years and he now asks me for my number?  At first, he's all friendly-like.  Saying he's having people over for dinner tonight, and would I like to come by for some dolphin?  And then he says I should have his number in case I ever need anything. 

[A little background on him before you go getting excited:  boat captain (duh), shorter than I (double duh), not really my type looks-wise (duh cubed).  When I first moved here he was hot, but had some girl with a kid living with him.  I thought it was nice of him to take care of someone else's kid, and he always got up really early for work so he may not be an alcoholic.]

Then I go to get my phone not realizing that now I will have to call him so that he will have my number.  I tell him that I usually don't do much on weeknights.  He takes this as a sign that I want to be asked to the Boat Show this weekend.  I am trying not to hyperventilate over the tactical errors I keep making.  I enter his number and call his phone.  He then wants to know if I'm still dating the ex.  I consider saying yes, but tell the truth.  He said that was good, because he didn't want to step on any toes.  F*ck f*ck f*ckity f*ck!  is all I can think at this point.  I say something about how it's getting late and I have to go to bed (it's 6:30), and shut the door.  My phone rings 30 seconds later.   I answer and he lets me know that he only called to make sure it was my number that came up on the phone.  Even though he had just left and I called it while he was standing there and it rang in his cellphone holster that was hooked to his jeans' waistband.  Oh yeah, you knew a cell phone holster would be involved.

So I'm already trying to think of excuses that won't make things awkward.  I already have the ex stalking me and leaving paintbrushes next to my car.  I don't need another stalker next door.