Before I can tell you about hanging out with the Mob in Boca this weekend, I need to finish my date story.
So this guy describes himself as half mad-scientist, half political activist--it is nice to talk to someone on my side of the polictial spectrum for once. He's pretty wealthy, but he seems to be fighting the good fight. So speaking of fighting, the date itself was full of it. He was extremely arrogant; I was combative in return. He had me pegged as a country bumpkin who'd never heard of John Varvatos. And he kept injecting sexual innuendo into each topic of conversation. (His first email was of a video of Serge Gainesbourg that ends with his lady friend having an orgasm. Of course I have never heard of ol' Serge. Of course DH has, and starts yammering on about Serge's house and Francis Bacon when I tell him about this guy's first email. The whole video thing was annoying, because if I mentioned anything sexual, arrogant guy would take it as a sign I was interested. But if I ignore it, I'm an uptight Puritan. DH thought the guy's hand was well-played because it took him a total of two texts and one email to bring up sex. DH's male perspective is always right and always the exact opposite of what I'm thinking.)
So, back to my date. Even though I'm being a bitch, I am enjoying the witty banter. But if I were a guy, I'd be sick of me. Or I'd be less arrogant. But he doesn't let up, so neither do I. He insists we go see a movie. It was awful. Some religious movie about angels going rogue and people turning into monsters. He is touchy feely the entire date, and I'm wondering if he's going to kiss me. Now, I have a very competent imagination; but try as I might, I cannot picture myself making out with him. So I'm thinking this means I don't really like him, I only like talking politics with someone who's a fan of logic. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention he ate a HOT DOG during the movie. !!!! You don't eat a hot dog if you plan on kissing someone, right?
I say I have to leave the movie and we walk out and neither of us can find our cars. So now I'm stressed b/c I have to get up really early and it's going to take 20 mins. to get home. The security guard drives us around and we find my car. He hops in mine ("surprised it's not a Subaru, since all teachers drive Subarus"), and I drop him off at his car, which is surrounded by teenagers. He gives me daps as he gets out of the car. The end.
So I relay all of this to DH and inform him that Daps hasn't called. I kick myself for being so combative. Why can't I be nicer? Why do I care? He ate a hotdog? DH says that right now Daps has other options that require less effort, and that he will re-enter the picture once his other options don't pan out. And sure enough, Daps sent me a text tonight. I didn't respond. Thoughts?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
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4 comments:
Carrying over from the previous post -
"Then he asked me out on a date in the next text. Obvi I said no. I said no like ten more times. Then I got bored and decided to go meet him..."
So this was a train-wreck from the beginning that you only agreed to because "I got bored" and you're surprised he ate a hot-dog and gave you daps at the end of the night?
"I guess I had given my number to one of the professor's friends because he was tall with longish hair."
If that's your filter for finding a quality date, you're heading down a disappointingly long and lonely road. It'll make for some great blog posts but you've got to raise the bar a little bit.
Shit's entertaining as hell to read though. Just don't become a female Bukowski...
First point: This was me trying to be more optimistic. I could have been bored at home and not had a good story. In the future, one of these stories will turn into a love story that will rival L.C. and Steven's.
Second point: His friend was a cute, unemployed musician pothead, and I didn't give him my number. And Arrogant Guy was dressed like an adult, not a Volcom ad. Baby steps...
So for now it may take 2 guys to hit all your requirements. Have long meaningful phone conversations with Daps, being combative but still possibly an option.
Then get unemployed, musician potheads number and call him and just use him for meaningless sex.
It's not ideal, but it'll cover all the bases until the L.C./Steven's story comes around.
Take this all with a grain of salt, remember I'm the anti-social married guy with 2 kids.
Do you know who L.C. and Steven are?
I'm too much of a romantic for meaningless sex. And I enjoy how abstaining fuels my superiority complex.
What are you and G up to this weekend? I'm driving up to see my mom tonight, but will be bored tomorrow. She had to cancel a date...
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